That guy: The Venter

An inhabitant of the office environment that will cross your path sooner or later: The Venter (also known as The Complainer), the guy who makes a habit of stopping by your desk to complain about his lot in work life. His job is hard (oh! so hard) and he desperately wants you to know it. Each office indignation and professional injustice is brought to your door. You keep typing and/or filing, avoiding eye contact, murmuring “yeah” or “okay” or “huh!” out of vestigial politeness once in a while. The Venter is not deterred by your studied lack of enthusiasm; your active participation in the “conversation” is hardly required. You used to escape him by leaving your desk for a much-needed smoke break, but you don’t smoke anymore. Damn.

At this juncture, you may well ask: Why you, specifically? Answer: Because you’re just lucky that way, friend.

The worst aspect of The Venter’s behavior is the utter absence of genuine humor. His stories are not intended to amuse you. Your proper response is not rueful laughter, but shared outrage! Any other reaction means that you aren’t paying attention. In this event, The Venter may be forced to repeat his tale of woe with added emphasis. Just to make sure you get it, you understand.

What to do when The Venter attacks? If your lucky, some coworker may unwittingly intervene by asking you for help or advice during one of The Venter’s harangues, but sometimes you have to make your own luck. Always have on hand an urgent memo - literally, a memo that says URGENT in big bold letters - that you had evidently forgotten to deliver (silly you!) and must be simply taken care of posthaste. You shrug, you smile apologetically, you point to the memo - URGENT, it says, can’t argue with that - and you get the hell outta Dodge.

One more thing of note: The Venter never reads blogs. Never. Funny thing, that.

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