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Parts and service

Several days ago, I was obliged to lose a couple of hours in the limbo of our auto dealership’s service department. Just an oil change and tire rotation; I had a coupon that rendered the oil change free of charge, so the appointment was one that would go easy on the household budget. Bring unable to cruise the Web on my laptop (no WiFi), I resorted to the time-worn (and endangered, according to some) tradition of reading a book to while away the hours.

Eventually, a service rep emerged to tell me that the work was done, and to give me the findings of their point-by-point inspection. This is standard practice at auto shops, designed to inform the customer of service that the vehicle desperately needs, usually immediately.

“You’re gonna want to buy all new tires by mid-summer,” warned the rep. “And you need a new air filter. We can put that in right now.”

“Okay,” I said.

“And your top radiator hose is cracked and corroded and needs to be replaced right away. We can do that for you right now for a hundred and nineteen dollars.”

A hundred and nineteen dollars. To my credit, I merely smiled rather than guffawed. “Go ahead and change the filter, please,” I replied. “I’ll hold off on the radiator hose for now.”

A hundred and nineteen dollars. I looked over the inspection report later to make sure I hadn’t misheard the figure. “Good Christ,” I said aloud. Even a car repair neophyte like myself knew better than to bite at that. And it was the upper hose, presumably a part that was readily accessible. Unless this hose was only available via airmail from France, the price made no sense at all.

I told M about it when I got home, figuring that she’d laugh heartily. She did not laugh. “Well, how bad is the hose?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” I confessed. “I haven’t looked at it yet. But it can’t be a hundred and nineteen dollars worth of bad.”

I scouted around online that night for hoses that fit our make and model and came up with prices ranging from seven to twelve dollars. Well, I thought, if the car doesn’t blow up tomorrow, we can save a hundred dollars.

I looked at the engine the next day and saw a hose that did not appear to be cracked or corroded at all. The clamps seemed tight at both ends, and the connections were not loose. I did see caked-on residue that looked to be dried antifreeze at the engine end of the hose, but could see no obvious tear or rupture where the fluid could have escaped. That weekend I drove to an AutoZone a few miles away to get a new hose. The clerk actually did a little happy dance when the computer system said it was an item they usually carried, but gaiety gave way to sadness as the computer told her that they were out of stock.

Doubling back on my way to yet another AutoZone, I found myself passing an O’Reilly’s Auto Parts to which I had never really paid much attention before. Since it was right there on my right and much closer to my house that other parts stores, I ducked inside and found just what I was looking for. Price of the hose and two clamps: about twelve bucks. Cha-ching.

After coffee yesterday morning, I went out and scraped away the caked-on stuff. I then removed the hose (which looked just fine) and replaced it with the new part. I wound up reusing the old clamps because they worked just fine. I topped off the coolant in the radiator and the overflow tank. And…

…everything is just fine, thanks. As I see it, we’re a hundred-odd dollars richer.

When I related this story to my brother last night, his response was: “It’s a wonder that more mechanics don’t get shot.” He was joking, I trust. He theorizes that repair shops throw out wild prices like this in the hopes that busy people with disposable income will just swallow them. Well, I’m busy enough but gee wilikers, I’d just as soon dispose of my income in some other fashion.

Most people reading this will have a “no duh” reaction to the concept of a dealer shop pumping up the price of a repair job. It’s just really stunning to see it in practice, however.

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