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Bobby Fischer eludes the search

Let’s revisit an older, barely satirical post at Officially Over to mark the passing of evil genius Bobby Fischer at the age of 64.

Japanese officials detained well known evil genius Bobby Fischer on Tuesday [BBC] [NYT], and they have begun preparations to hovercar him back to the United States in a plexiglas box far from all metal objects. In 1992, Fischer played a match in Yugoslavia or Serbia or whatever it was called, and this ruined our plan to remove Milosevic from power by depriving him of crucial tourism revenue from chess spectators. Thanks to Fischer’s travels, military forces had to take action in Serbia instead. Ever since the 1992 match, the U.S. has been scouring the globe—searching, if you will—for Bobby Fischer.

Fischer has a long history of living in hiding, and in fact disappeared soon after winning the world championship in 1972. A witness to the disappearance, who asked not to be identified, told Officially Over that Fischer checkmated his opponent, dramatically rose from his chair, and promptly vanished in a puff of brimstone. Experts believe that Fischer needed twenty years to plan his 1992 reappearance and to consume large amounts of osmium, a dense metal that likely gives him his vast mental powers.

This was followed by word of a later exploit, his escape from the clutches of Japan and the United States. First it was Osama now got away…

…now, apparently, evil genius Bobby Fischer follows suit.

A parliamentary committee has voted to grant citizenship to fugitive U.S. chess star Bobby Fischer, putting the issue up for a vote by all legislators. [...]

Fischer, 62, has been detained in Japan awaiting deportation to the United States, where he is wanted for violating economic sanctions against the former Yugoslavia by playing a highly publicized chess match there in 1992.

One of Fischer’s supporters in Iceland said the Japanese government had confirmed it would allow him to go to Iceland if citizenship was granted.

“This is great news,” said Fischer supporter Saemundur Palsson. “They had been waiting on confirmation from Japan that Fischer would be let go if he had Icelandic citizenship. This arrived to me this morning.”

There is widespread support for Fischer in Iceland, where he played the Soviet Union’s Boris Spassky in a world championship match in 1972.

Evidently, Fischer retained sufficient of his awesome mental powers to bend the collective will of the parliamentary committee…from a holding cell in Tokyo, no less! Once unleashed on Icelandic soil, he will remain forever beyond America’s reach, unless George Bush dispatches an occu-liberation force to topple the despotic Halldor Asgrimsson and his toadying Cabinet, and imprison or disperse the Fischer-influenced and barbarously-named Althingi. Then, and only then, can Fischer be delivered to American justice.

Iceland will have to rebuilt, of course. But by this time, we should be really good at that.

UPDATE: The Althingi has spoken! [CNN link now defunct, try Times] Fischer will be granted Icelandic citizenship. Quote below from CNN.com:

Iceland’s parliament has voted to grant citizenship to fugitive U.S. chess star Bobby Fischer.

The legislation, passed Monday with 40 lawmakers voting “aye” and two abstaining following a brief debate, became law immediately.

“I am very pleased with this, and I think that the dignity of the parliament has increased,” Fischer’s supporter Saemundur Palsson said, adding that Fischer would be informed Tuesday morning Japanese time.

“I hope that he will stop cursing the Americans now. It has gotten him into so much trouble,” Palsson told reporters.

It is probably safe to say that with his death, he has indeed finally stopped cursing the Americans. But with Fischer, who can truly say?

Note: Icelandophiles know full well, of course, that since the original writing of the above post, the dictatorial Asgrimsson has been ruthlessly deposed by Geir H. Haarde.

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