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What does hysteria look like?

I was cooling my heels at the airport a few nights ago, waiting to meet M as she returned from yet another work trip. I really dislike airports these days; it’s not entirely because of heightened security measures (as Linus Van Pelt once said: I love humanity, it’s people I can’t stand), but the security thing is definitely in the mix. I glanced around at the various members of the Transportation Security Administration in the terminal and wondered what would happen if one of them - or any bystander, for that matter - were to hear me murmur the words “Allahu Akbar.” Just those words, nothing more. Because (odd as it may seem) sometimes people who have no intention in the world of blowing things up may utter the words “Allahu Akbar.” For, you know, personal reasons.

Regarding my hypothetical situation: I concluded that I’d be up against the wall with a service revolver nuzzled against the back of my head before you could say “friendly skies.” That seems a touch hysterical to me, but such are these times.

Hysteria is all about us these days; it’s not hard to recognize. It may take different forms from occasion to occasion, but you know it when you see it. It looks something like this:

An attendant at the gas station slipped a note to a female customer that the Canadian band were actually terrorists, and the police and FBI were on the scene immediately…

And this:

This morning, they’re doing bag searches again to get on the ferry. And the guy doing the searches pulls me aside and says, “Sir, I feel that I need to confiscate this book.” …

And this:

Ninety minutes after taking off from Sydney Airport, a flight attendant found an airsickness bag in a lavatory with the letters “BOB” written on it. The flight attendant decided that the letters stood for “Bomb On Board”…

That’s what hysteria looks like. Don’t fret if you missed any of these manifestations. There’s more where they came from. A lot more.

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